Dalmatians!
When I became I mother I decided to delete swearing from my vocabulary in an effort to raise a well spoken daughter. I tend to swear like a sailor, well … I used to. I’ve discovered through the years that my swearing has now morphed into something straight out of the 1950’s. “you’re fucking kidding me!” has morphed into “well I’ll be switched!” Son of a bitch has become Son of a buck. Shit! has given way to Sweet Mother of Nancy!
Consequently I now have a 6 year old who says things like Jiminy Christmas! Holy Moly! and Ding Dangit! Which actually is somewhat adorable. The best part though, is when she hasn’t quite heard what I’ve said or when it’s an infrequent utterance so she’s not quite sure of it. This I am discovering was worth eliminating the swearing.
The other day the stupid curtain rod falls down and as I’m struggling with it, my daughter unbeknownst to me has come into the room. Thinking I’m alone I mutter a “damnation!” which isn’t all that bad anyway. Few days beyond that my daughter is looking for a book and can’t find it. I overhear her saying “dalmatians! where is that book?!”
I utter, probably too often, “good grief in the morning!”, I don’t even really know what the hell that means. Something my Mom used to say. My daughter hears this as “God grief in the morning!” Which leaves me biting my lip to hold back the laughter.
Another word that has worked it’s way into my vocabulary is “bejeezus” as in ‘that scared the the bejeezus out of me!” this is my all time favourite when coming from my daughter. She has misheard the phrase though she doesn’t realise it and it’s too amusing to me to correct her. It’s only slang anyway. If someone happens to do something startling my daughter will say “come on! be more careful (or quiet etc) you just scared the Jesus out of the cat!” I’m not conventionally religious, which is possibly why I find that funny rather than alarming. I swear though every time I hear my child proclaim that something has “scared the Jesus out of me!” I laugh (not in front of her) nearly to the point of tears. The idea of someone getting the Jesus scared out of them is too funny. I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold in the laughter if I hear “Dalmatians! That scared the Jesus out of me!”
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